Failing at self-care

I guess what I want is

well I don’t know

when my therapist mentions self-care,

I feel like crying

I am failing at self-care,

I want to say.

I know

I know

that’s not the point

self-care is not something

you’re supposed to be able to fail at

help me then.

when it is nearly bedtime

and I have done only a small percentage

of what I mean to have done in the day

What exactly do I do with my

fifteen minutes before bed:

when I don’t know what I need

I hide