ambivalent

Day 3 and I'm late! It's been a very full day. But I did write the following before 9pm, I just didn't get a chance to post:

Loud & rowdy
crowd at Chuck's
makes me happy
warms me up

Asked barkeep to
recommend
a yummy porter--
all he has

Is coconut.
I nearly shudder.
But I tried it--
it's not bad.

Waiting for
a laggard friend
wishing I
could go to bed

But the real thing I wanted to write about is the 7-minute walk up Union that I took to get there, alone in a skirt and tall boots, feeling angry that there was a voice in my head telling me that it was stupid for me to walk up Union alone in a skirt after dark, feeling angry that I can't just walk somewhere at 8pm without feeling fear because I'm a girl, angry that the male friend I was meeting wouldn't think anything of it, wondering if I was wearing jeans if it would have been easier on me, wondering if I should have called a cab to take me 5 blocks, wondering if half the population even knows that at night the friendly city somehow turns into a war zone for women. Clenching my fists and lowering my stance in case I needed to punch someone. Maybe I'll write that poem tomorrow.

Mostly, though, it was a really lovely evening.